The “Be more like the boys” advice we’ll never forget

"I've followed you on LinkedIn for a while. There's one post I'll never forget."

The post she shared blew me away. It wasn't any of the posts with stats. She didn't remember the $8B raised that led to $30 B in follow-on AUM. She didn't remember the 50+ funds we've launched or scaled, the 30+ businesses we've helped to grow.

It was a story. It was the advice my mentor gave me when I got into this biz:
"Wear suits from the boys section at Brooks Brothers. Put your hair in a low ponytail. Don't wear make-up. Be more like the boys if you want to play. Be stronger than them if you want to win."

The woman at lunch remembered this post because she lived it too. There are a whole bunch of us in the investment industry that weren't invited to sit at the table. We saw the empty chairs, but knew there were strings attached — a set of rules to follow. Maybe we followed ‘em back then because we wanted a shot. I know I did; I took my mentor's advice.

It was heartbreaking but it was good advice for then… even though I wish I could rewrite it. I can't say I'd go back and do it differently, but I'm doing it differently now.

So if my long hair bothers you
Or seeing me in a dress makes you uncomfortable
If hoop earrings or leather jackets feel unprofessional
Or you wonder why I'm launching a podcast about stories and people
Not stats and performance

If you think it's silly that I'm laughing and smiling in a "serious" industry
Or you can't understand how I live/work in Newport RI
and not New York, NY
If you don't get why I spend Mondays to be with my daughter
when I'm the founder of a multi-million dollar biz...

Newsflash: That's your circus, those are your monkeys.

While you deal with it, I'll be over here closing deals. Right by the beach.

Credit: Mia Campopiano

Here's to anyone who felt like an odd duck… you are a rare bird. You can sit with us.